please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
