we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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