Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
