His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
