if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
