God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize