Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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