I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize