my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
