So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
