My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
