Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
