there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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