just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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