it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
