on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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