we're chasing vodka with high fives
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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