You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Can I color on your dick again?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
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