I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
grandma shit on top of the toilet
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
