I'm drive I can fine osifer
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
