youre lurking in front of me
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
