he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
