do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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