Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
