turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
