Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Found the puke drawer
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
