sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
