I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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