Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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