Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
