ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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