Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
