I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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