bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
