Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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