I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
why is half of my head shaved?
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