i think my mom watched the whole time
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
