When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
