I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
