I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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