There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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