i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
