Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
