I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
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