brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
