Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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