I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
