i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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