if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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