I want to stick my p in your. b.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
