I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
