Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize