I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
