party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
