I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
