It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize