So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
