Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
