Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
