I'll bet she douches with gravy.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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