covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
