marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize