You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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