it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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