there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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