dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am in a vortex of obligation.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
