This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
