I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
