Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
