It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
