During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
