I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
