No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
