K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
