I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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