In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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